Teaching Responsibility

Responsibility! How many times have you said to yourself, “I wish my child would be more RESPONSIBLE!???”

As parents, we want our children to grow up to be responsible for themselves. This includes taking responsibility for their actions, commitments, outcomes, and decisions.

When your child was born, you assumed full responsibility for her. Over the next 20 years, your job, your responsibility, is to gradually turn that responsibility over to her!

Teaching your child to be responsible takes time and attention from you. Every bit of responsibility you give your child must come with a tremendous amount of instruction and supervision. To raise a responsible child, you must be prepared to teach, remind, and inspect…over and over…a zillion times. And you must be prepared to do this without becoming frustrated, impatient, or resentful.

The following is a “model” that you can follow to teach your child how to handle responsibility.
The “Responsibility Model”

1. Assign a task. Teach what is expected, and how to meet those expectations.

2. Provide an opportunity to work on the task.

3. Before completion, inspect and provide constructive feedback.

4. If your child’s efforts were successful, great! Just continue with Step #3. If your child’s results weren’t quite successful, go back to Step #1.



Notice that, if your child’s efforts weren’t successful, you don’t take away the responsibility. It just means you need a little more teaching, and more frequent feedback. If this happens, you must be patient and supportive! If you appear disappointed or impatient, your child will become discouraged and resentful.

Sound like a lot of work? It is! Is it really necessary? Yup!

Many times, parents are surprised by the level of commitment that it takes to teach a child how to be responsible. They become frustrated, and stop trying.

If you give up, or if you skip steps in the “Responsibility Model,” chances are that your child won’t be able to effectively handle responsibility.

It’s a huge mistake to assume that our children will grow up to be responsible adults without a tremendous amount of coaching.

So, parents, be diligent. Use the model. Don’t become frustrated, or give up. Stick with it, and your child will learn to handle all types of responsibility effectively!